You as Muslim must help people, must earn enough to provide your family the best; but never forget that you must do all of this in the name of Allah, for His sake only, not for you, not for anyone or anything else; but for Allah.
No matter how much people judge you, do not grieve, and do not be angry, but let Allah judge them and you do what you have to do as Muslim, help people and be nice, improve your character, be an ideal Muslim. Your mind must be pure and so must be your heart, otherwise temptations will blacken your mind and heart! For those who love to sin, and who “rely” on Allah’s Mercy, fear Allah more, FEAR HIS PUNISHMENT!
Allah is most Merciful but He doesn’t play games, you can’t sin and sin and say “Allah will forgive”, you are here in this life because of a test, and the test are trials and temptations, if you sin, repent, if you want to sin, struggle to not sin, remember Allah and be true servant of His, unless you struggle, you will never be a Muslim, you’ll remain a hypocrite!
Worship Allah (the Exalted) only, love Allah sincerely, never put someone or something else in first place; Allah gave you everything, as for people and wealth they only gave you trials, people rush in judging you, and they can misguide you easily, and they are themselves often misguided, but Allah is the King of everything in the Heavens and Earth, and He will never misguide you, and He will always love you, unlike people who can easily turn their back on you, if you love someone, love him/her for the sake of Allah, if they judge you, know that Allah will judge them too as they judge you, and if you rely upon Allah, He (the Exalted) will grant you victory InshaAllah, and there is nothing better than to win a place near Allah in the Hereafter. Ask Allah to guide you!
PUT YOUR TRUST IN ALLAH AND DEPEND ONLY UPON HIM (the Exalted)!!!!!!!! Unless you do that, you will never have peace nor be safe!!
Question: I am a 24 years old girl. I fell in love, no dates, no meetings involved, pure love to a pure religious person. He promised to marry me and asked me to wait for him as his circumstances are difficult. I do not remember that he called me more than once. I asked him not to call me; because I feel this is wrong, although I love him. I felt that our love started going in the direction, he agreed to this feeling, and respected my opinion. He just sends me E-mails every so often via internet, so that I know his news. We have been in this love relationship for one year. I know this person and his family, and they know us well as well. I love him for Allah’s sake and sure he loves me as well. The problem is that I started receiving proposals, about 8 so far. Every time I refuse because I promised to wait for him. Now I am confused, is what I am doing halal or haram? I pray, Alhamdulillah, all obligatory and optional prayers, and pray qiyaam in the night as well; I fear I lose my good deeds because of what I am doing. Is a pure chaste love haram? Is my love to him halal or haram?.
Answer: Praise be to Allaah.
First of all I ask Allaah to guide you and grant you happiness, and I ask Him to increase the numbers of girls like you who are keen to maintain chastity and purity and adhere to the sacred limits of Allaah in their affairs, among the most important of which are emotional relationships that many people take lightly, so they overstep the mark and transgress the sacred limits of Allaah, and Allaah tests them with problems that we read about and hear of, in which there is a lesson for every Muslim and for every wise person.
You should note that correspondence and contact between the sexes is one of the doors that lead to fitnah (temptation). Sharee’ah is filled with evidence which indicates that it is essential to beware of falling into the traps of the shaytaan in this matter. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a young man merely looking at a young woman, he turned his head so as to make him look away, then he said: “I saw a young man and a young woman, and I did not trust the shaytaan not to tempt them.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (885) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Hence you did well to cut off contact with this young man, and we hope that you will stop corresponding too, because correspondence is one of the greatest doors to corruption that have been opened for people nowadays. This has been discussed in a number of questions.
This does not mean that it is haraam for a man or woman to like a specific person whom he or she chooses to be a spouse, and feel love for that person and want to marry them if possible. Love has to do with the heart, and it may appear in a person’s heart for reasons known or unknown. But if it is because of mixing or looking or haraam conversations, then it is also haraam. If it is because of previous acquaintance, being related or because of hearing about that person, and one cannot ward it off, then there is nothing wrong with that love, so long as one adheres to the sacred limits set by Allaah.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
If love develops for a reason that is not haraam, a person cannot be blamed for that, such as one who loves his wife or his slave woman, then he leaves her but that love remains and does not leave him. He is not to be blamed for that. The same applies if he glances accidentally then looks away, but love may settle in his heart without him wanting it to. But he has to ward it off and look away. End quote.
Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (p. 147).
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly, this is what leads to fitnah (temptation). End quote.
Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh (26/question no. 13)
Our advice to you is that it is essential to stop corresponding with this young man, and tell him that he has to propose to you through your wali, if he really does want to get married. He should not regard his material circumstances or anything else as a barrier. The matter is simple, in sha Allaah, and if a person is content with little, Allaah will make him independent of means by His grace and bounty. He should at least contact your wali and do the shar’i marriage contract, and if the consummation is delayed there is nothing wrong with that. But if it remains as a promise to get married, ande correspondence continues between you on that basis, this – according to the rulings of sharee’ah and the experience of real life – is a wrong path that opens the door to sin and corruption. You can be certain that you will never find happiness except by obeying Allaah and adhering to the limits set by his sharee’ah. The permissible ways are sufficient and there is no need for haraam means, but we make it hard for ourselves and the shaytaan takes advantage of that.
Your delay in getting married is very harmful for you. You are getting older and this young man’s circumstances are not improving; you are not marrying him and you are not marrying anyone else. Beware of delaying, for that will only cause harm. You should realize that one of these men who have proposed marriage may be more religiously committed and righteous than that young man, and there may be far greater love with him than there is between you and that young man.
And Allaah knows best.
Where are the companions you once knew?
They have reached where they were meant to go, having been met by the deeds they performed in their days gone by. They reside there (in the Hereafter) either in misery or happiness.
Where are the arrogant tyrants who built the townships and encircled them with walls?
They are now underneath stones and wells.
Where are those whose faces were beautiful full of light, those who were impressed by their youth?
Where are the kings?
Where are those who were granted victory on the fields of war?
Time has caused them to decay, and they are now in the darkness of their graves.
There is no goodness in saying that which is not spoken for the countenance of Allah. There is no goodness in wealth that is not spent in the path of Allah. There is no goodness in a person who ignorance has overcome his forbearance. And there is no goodness in a person who, when it comes to doing something for the sake of Allah, fears the blame of the blamers.
Between Allah and any person there is no familial relation, and none can hope to receive anything from him through such a relationship (i.e., since no one is related to Allah, none can hope for the kind of help they receive from relatives on this earth based on family loyalty and love), nor can one hope that Allah will save him from evil (based on the same reason).
He gives goodness and saves from evil only through obedience to Him and the following of His commands.
There is no such thing as something that is good if it leads to the Hellfire, and there is no such thing as something that is evil if it leads to Paradise…
Because you are needy and poor (to Allah), I advise you to fear Allah, to praise Him as He deserves to be praised- and to ask for His forgiveness; for indeed, He is oft-forgiving. I have said what i needed to say, and I ask Allah for forgiveness, for both myself and you.”
A Kutbah delivered by Abu Bakr Siddique (Radi Allah Unhu).
(Musannaf ibn Abee Shaibah 7/144)
Refer to Saheeh At-Tautheeq Fee Seerat Wa-Hayaat As-Siddeeq (pg.181)