Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was asked: what is better for a woman, to come out to the Eid prayer or to stay at home?
It is better for them to go out to Eid prayer, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) enjoined that the women go out to the Eid prayer, even the adolescent girls and virgins – i.e., women who do not ordinarily go out. He commanded them to go out, and he told the menstruating women to go out but to keep away from the prayer-place. So menstruating women should go out with other women for Eid, but they should not enter the place where the Eid prayer is offered, because the Eid prayer-place is a mosque and it is not permissible for a menstruating woman to stay there, but it is permissible for her to pass through or to take something she needs from it, without staying there. Based on this we say: women are commanded to go out to the Eid prayer and join the men in this prayer, because of the goodness, dhikr and du’aa’ they may experience there.
Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 16/210.
He also said:
But they must go out looking decent, not wearing adornment, makeup or perfume, so that they may combine following the Sunnah with avoiding fitnah.
What some women do of wearing adornment, makeup and perfume is because of their ignorance and negligence on the part of their guardians. This does not cancel out the general shar’i ruling, which is that women are commanded to go out to the Eid prayer.
Question: Why does Allaah burden the believers who do many acts of worship with sickness and other trials, when the sinners are enjoying all the good things in life? (Answer for understanding)
If the question is asked as a quest for understanding, then we would tell this questioner: the believer is subjected to tests and Allaah’s testing him by means of things that may harm or hurt him brings two great benefits.
The first benefit is that Allaah tests this man with regard to his faith, to see whether his faith is sincere or shaky. The believer whose faith is sincere will patiently accept the will and decree of Allaah, and will seek reward from Him. In this case the matter becomes bearable for him. It was narrated that one of the female worshippers of Allaah suffered a cut or wound in her finger, but she did not complain about the pain or show any sign of distress. She was asked about that and she said: The sweetness of its reward makes me forget the bitterness of bearing it. The believer seeks reward from Allaah and submits to Him completely. This is one benefit.
With regard to the second benefit, Allaah highly praises those who are patient and says that He is with them and that He will give them reward without measure. Patience is a high status which can only be attained by those who are tested with things that they bear patiently. If he bears them patiently, he attains this high status which brings great reward. So when Allaah tests the believers with things that hurt them, that is so that they may attain the status of those who are patient.
Hence the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who was the greatest of all people in faith, piety and fear of Allaah, suffered twice the pain of an ordinary man when he fell sick, and he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) suffered greatly at the time of death, so that he might fully attain the status of one who is patient, for he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was the most patient of those who are patient. Hence the wisdom behind Allaah’s testing of the believer with such calamities becomes clear.
With regard to His giving the sinners, evildoers, immoral people and kaafirs good health and plentiful provision, this is in order to let them get carried away (with their sin, and then punish them severely later on).
It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “This world is a prison for the believer and a paradise for the kaafir.” [Sahih Muslim Book 42, Number 7058].
They are given these good things so that they have their good things sooner, in this world, and on the Day of Resurrection they will get what they deserve of punishment.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “On the Day when those who disbelieve (in the Oneness of Allaah Islamic Monotheism) will be exposed to the Fire (it will be said): “You received your good things in the life of the world, and you took your pleasure therein. Now this Day you shall be recompensed with a torment of humiliation, because you were arrogant in the land without a right, and because you used to rebel against Allaah’s Command (disobey Allaah)” [al-Ahqaaf 46:20]
The point is that this world is for the kaafirs to get carried away in, then when they move to the Hereafter and leave the life of this world in which they found pleasure, they will encounter torment – we seek refuge with Allaah. The punishment will be so much harder for them because they will suffer greatly, and because at the same time they will have lost the delights and luxuries of this world which they loved so much.
There is a third benefit which we may add to the first two, which the believer will get from sickness and problems, for the believer will move to a realm that is better than this world, for he will move from something that hurts him and causes him pain to something that will bring him happiness and joy. So his joy at the delight to which he has come will be multiplied, because he has attained joy, and the pain and difficulties that he was facing will have ceased.
~ From the fatwas of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, from Kitaab Fataawa Islamiyyah, 1/83 ~
Question: I am a 24 years old girl. I fell in love, no dates, no meetings involved, pure love to a pure religious person. He promised to marry me and asked me to wait for him as his circumstances are difficult. I do not remember that he called me more than once. I asked him not to call me; because I feel this is wrong, although I love him. I felt that our love started going in the direction, he agreed to this feeling, and respected my opinion. He just sends me E-mails every so often via internet, so that I know his news. We have been in this love relationship for one year. I know this person and his family, and they know us well as well. I love him for Allah’s sake and sure he loves me as well. The problem is that I started receiving proposals, about 8 so far. Every time I refuse because I promised to wait for him. Now I am confused, is what I am doing halal or haram? I pray, Alhamdulillah, all obligatory and optional prayers, and pray qiyaam in the night as well; I fear I lose my good deeds because of what I am doing. Is a pure chaste love haram? Is my love to him halal or haram?.
Answer: Praise be to Allaah.
First of all I ask Allaah to guide you and grant you happiness, and I ask Him to increase the numbers of girls like you who are keen to maintain chastity and purity and adhere to the sacred limits of Allaah in their affairs, among the most important of which are emotional relationships that many people take lightly, so they overstep the mark and transgress the sacred limits of Allaah, and Allaah tests them with problems that we read about and hear of, in which there is a lesson for every Muslim and for every wise person.
You should note that correspondence and contact between the sexes is one of the doors that lead to fitnah (temptation). Sharee’ah is filled with evidence which indicates that it is essential to beware of falling into the traps of the shaytaan in this matter. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a young man merely looking at a young woman, he turned his head so as to make him look away, then he said: “I saw a young man and a young woman, and I did not trust the shaytaan not to tempt them.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (885) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Hence you did well to cut off contact with this young man, and we hope that you will stop corresponding too, because correspondence is one of the greatest doors to corruption that have been opened for people nowadays. This has been discussed in a number of questions.
This does not mean that it is haraam for a man or woman to like a specific person whom he or she chooses to be a spouse, and feel love for that person and want to marry them if possible. Love has to do with the heart, and it may appear in a person’s heart for reasons known or unknown. But if it is because of mixing or looking or haraam conversations, then it is also haraam. If it is because of previous acquaintance, being related or because of hearing about that person, and one cannot ward it off, then there is nothing wrong with that love, so long as one adheres to the sacred limits set by Allaah.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
If love develops for a reason that is not haraam, a person cannot be blamed for that, such as one who loves his wife or his slave woman, then he leaves her but that love remains and does not leave him. He is not to be blamed for that. The same applies if he glances accidentally then looks away, but love may settle in his heart without him wanting it to. But he has to ward it off and look away. End quote.
Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (p. 147).
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly, this is what leads to fitnah (temptation). End quote.
Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh (26/question no. 13)
Our advice to you is that it is essential to stop corresponding with this young man, and tell him that he has to propose to you through your wali, if he really does want to get married. He should not regard his material circumstances or anything else as a barrier. The matter is simple, in sha Allaah, and if a person is content with little, Allaah will make him independent of means by His grace and bounty. He should at least contact your wali and do the shar’i marriage contract, and if the consummation is delayed there is nothing wrong with that. But if it remains as a promise to get married, ande correspondence continues between you on that basis, this – according to the rulings of sharee’ah and the experience of real life – is a wrong path that opens the door to sin and corruption. You can be certain that you will never find happiness except by obeying Allaah and adhering to the limits set by his sharee’ah. The permissible ways are sufficient and there is no need for haraam means, but we make it hard for ourselves and the shaytaan takes advantage of that.
Your delay in getting married is very harmful for you. You are getting older and this young man’s circumstances are not improving; you are not marrying him and you are not marrying anyone else. Beware of delaying, for that will only cause harm. You should realize that one of these men who have proposed marriage may be more religiously committed and righteous than that young man, and there may be far greater love with him than there is between you and that young man.
And Allaah knows best.